If Only You Knew
by xSweetiePiex
Summary: A 17 year old victim is hiding a big secret. How will the detectives respond when the secret comes out? Will it bring everyone together? Or will the news tear everyone apart? ... Possibly OE in future chapters ... Please Review!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! This is my new Law and Order: Special Victims Unit fanfic. It's about this one girl… and well, I guess you'll just have to read to find out!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: Special Victims Units or any of the characters. I'm not now, nor have I ever, made any money or monetary gain from this, or any of my other, stories.**

**Feedback…. Please? I really appreciate it… comments/critiques/criticism. Just please, no flames, okay?**

If Only You Knew 

"They found her in a park?" Detective Olivia Benson asked her partner, Elliot Stabler.

"Yeah." He replied. The two had been called in on a suspected rape. A young girl had been found behind a local park. She was barely conscious and didn't have any ID on her. Her clothes were ripped. This wasn't going to be fun.

Detectives Odafin Tutuola and John Munch were already at the scene. Fin approached them and said, "They're taking the girl to the hospital now. We're going to sweep the area. You two should probably go with her." Fin let his gaze travel to the battered girl on the stretcher. "In case she talks."

Olivia sighed and began walking towards the paramedics. "Police." She showed them her badge and proceeded toward the girl while Elliot hung back slightly. "Hi, sweetheart." The girl looked down, trying to turn away despite the pain shooting through her body. When it was clear that the girl wasn't going to talk, Olivia continued. "My name's Olivia. What's yours?" If Olivia wasn't mistaken, she saw a single tear slip down the girl's cheek. She looked so vulnerable lying on the stretcher.

Olivia looked helplessly at Elliot, who slowly approached the two. "This is my partner, Elliot." Olivia continued. The girl lifted her head for the first time. Elliot's steely blue-gray eyes met the girl's hazel ones.

Taking a cue from Olivia, Elliot continued. "We're going to go to the hospital now. Get you checked out, ok?"

"No." The girl said quietly.

Elliot and Olivia shared a concerned look. This wasn't a question.

"Sweetheart, it's going to be okay…" Olivia started.

"Please…" The girl's voice was barely above a whisper. She started to struggle, trying to get up.

"Shh…" Elliot placed a hand on her shoulder. She stopped moving immediately. "We're gonna get you to a hospital and then we'll contact your parents…" Elliot's seemingly comforting words were interrupted with a tone full of panic.

"If I let you take me to the hospital, will you _not_ call my guardians?" Her voice was shrill, and she started to cry again. "_Please._"

Elliot didn't have time to respond because Olivia beat him to it. "Of course, honey. Let's just get to the hospital." He did, however, catch her say _guardians_ as opposed to _parents_. Maybe she was a runaway. Or maybe they beat her up. Or raped her. The endless possibilities were almost too gruesome to think about. He decided to wait until they knew more about her. Or at least her name. Elliot knew better than to jump the gun on these kinds of cases.

Elliot and Olivia hopped in the ambulance with the girl. They started off on their way to St. Theresa Medical Center. The girl was very quiet the whole way, and Elliot was afraid she had lost consciousness again. The paramedics had given her medication and were watching her diligently.

Soon, they arrived at the hospital. Olivia went into Exam Room 112 with the girl. She looked so scared and overwhelmed.

The girl looked up at Olivia. Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. It looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't. Her eyes seemed to plead with Olivia's. At that moment, the detective knew something was terribly wrong.

A few moments later, Dr. Strong entered the room. She held her head high and wore a big smile. "Hi. I'm Dr. Strong." The girl dropped her head again and refused to look up. Dr. Strong walked over and shook hands with Olivia. "Detective Benson." She addressed. She walked over to shake the girl's hand. The girl shyly extended it. "What's your name?"

The girl looked up at the Doctor, and then met Olivia's gaze, before mouthing quietly, "Sophie."

"Sophie, how old are you?" The Doctor held a clipboard.

"17." She replied meekly.

"Ok, so…" The doctor put down her clipboard to look at Sophie. "What happened?"

Sophie looked away. She didn't trust Dr. Strong. She didn't like Dr. Strong.

When Sophie didn't answer, Dr. Strong decided she would just begin anyway. She explained each step of the exam to Sophie before doing it. Dr. Strong x-rayed her left wrist and left ankle, neither of which were broken, just sprained. She stitched up Sophie's cuts on her forehead and abdomen. Sophie had extensive bruising on her arms, chest, and thighs… all at various stages of the healing process.

Then came the rape exam. Sophie consented to the rape exam, with the stipulation that Olivia would stay with her. The findings were terrifyingly expected. No fluids were present, but they found traces of spermicide. Sophie had indeed been raped.

Olivia thanked Dr. Strong and took the evidence from the rape kit to the Medical Examiner's office to vouch for it. Sophie's clothes were gathered as evidence, so now she donned some hospital-issued sweat pants and an oversized sweatshirt. They appeared to engulf her already rather tiny frame.

Meanwhile, Elliot had been doing some of his own investigated. Munch and Fin had helped sweep the park, but there was not much found. A few condom wrappers around where Sophie was found, but all different brands, and quite possibly, none used by her rapist. There was so much litter and trash around that the hunt was like looking for a needle in a haystack… and they didn't even know what they were looking for or even if there was anything to be found. They would have to talk to Sophie to really have an idea of this.

Elliot had found that Sophie, whose full name was Sophia Isabelle Martin, was living in foster care with Robert and Sadie Jade. She was 17 years old and had been living in foster care all her life, bouncing between homes. Elliot sighed. One page in her file caught his eye.

June 13, 2003. Sophia I. Martin removed from care of George D. and Sarah L. Drudgeman on grounds of physical abuse and alleged sexual abuse.

No wonder she was so afraid of Olivia and him.

Elliot's phone rang. He was thrust out of his thoughts and picked it up, "Stabler."

"Hey, it's me." The voice spoke on the other end.

"Oh, hey Liv." Elliot greeted.

"I think we have a problem with Sophie." Olivia's voice was urgent.

"What's going on?"

"During the exam, Dr. Strong found bruises on her back, torso, legs, and chest."

"Isn't that expected?" Elliot was trying to follow her.

"Not when some are almost completely healed… and shaped like various household items."

Elliot took a deep breath. "I'll talk to Cragen. We'll have to put a rush on things to get everything settled before tonight. She can't go back there." He paused. "Has she said anything?"

"Nope… I'm going to go talk to her now."

Olivia closed her eyes and said a silent prayer. Holding her breath, she walked in. "Hey, Sophie."

Sophie acknowledged the older woman with her eyes only.

"During the exam today, there were some bruises."

Sophie stiffened.

"Is someone hurting you?"

Sophie shook her head. "No." She said evenly.

"Than what happened?"

"I fell…"

"No, you didn't." Sophie looked away. "Sophie, please, look at me."

"It was my fault. Okay? All. My. Fault." Sophie's voice was distant now, all of a sudden. "Please… leave me alone."

"Honey, this is not your fault. Nobody deserves to be hit."

"You don't understand. You couldn't possibly understand."

"Try me." Olivia's voice edged on impatience, but seeing the impending breakthrough, she backed down slightly.

"It's not the beatings I deserved."

By this time, Elliot had gotten to the hospital. Cragen had arranged for Sophie to be placed in an emergency foster home for the night so the investigation on her rape and child abuse could be started full force the next day. Elliot looked at Sophie curiously.

"You mean, the attack?" Elliot approached her slowly. "Nobody deserves to be raped. You didn't ask for this…"

"Yes I did! This is all my fault…" Sophie fought back tears.

"How could this possibly be your fault, Honey?" Elliot saw his daughters in her. She was just a sweet, innocent child.

"You wouldn't help me if you knew…" Sophie hung her head in shame. "It's so embarrassing…" Sophie held her breath. She hadn't told anyone this in her entire life. Well, other than the people who knew. Her foster parents knew. They would never let her forget it.

Sophie started so quietly, that Olivia and Elliot had to go in closer to hear her. "I am a child of rape."

**Feedback is much (not MUNCH lol) appreciated! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate it. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

**Please remember to review!**

Sophie hung her head low, refusing to even lift up her eyes. This was so humiliating. Why had she told them? She wasn't exactly sure why, but she felt some type of unique connection to Olivia. She summed that up to her current vulnerability.

But that didn't matter now. Nothing did. No respectable cop was going to take her case. Who would want to help her after they knew she was the product of rape? Nobody ever looked at her the same after they knew. It was as if she was marked with a scarlet letter, only her proverbial A stood for "abomination" rather than "adulterer." She started to cry again.

Knowing that it must have taken an extreme amount of self-control for Olivia to hold herself together, Elliot started to speak. He saw his partner out of the corner of his eye. She was trying in vain to comfort Sophie, even though he could tell she was on the verge of tears herself. She met his gaze with a meaningful look. "Sophie." His voice was kind and gentle. This was the voice he used for extremely frightened or severely abused children to get them to trust him, which was rarely an easy task. Right now, Sophie fit into both categories perfectly. She may have been 17, but right now, she looked more like 7.

Sophie didn't answer. She didn't even look up. Her body was tense, as if she was ready to get up and run away at any moment.

"Sophie. Please, look at me." Elliot's voice was pleading. He wondered how Olivia could even hold herself together. This hit way too close to home. Heck, it _was_ home. But if she just abruptly left the room, Sophie would think they blamed her. Olivia knew that. So did Elliot. Elliot exhaled loudly.

"I wanna go home." Sophie finally said, in a raspy voice. She broke physical contact with Olivia.

"You're not going back there." Elliot started firmly, but not unkindly. Sophie looked up at him, her eyes filled with a horrible mixture of fear, defiance, and humiliation.

"Wh-what do you mean?" She wasn't feeling that cooperative. Her mind spun, filled with flashbacks of the abuse over the years and the rape from just hours ago.

"Who's hurting you?" Elliot sat down next to her. She seemed more comfortable when he was at eye level, when she could watch what he was doing. When she could see that he was wringing his hands in his lap, not reaching to pull of his belt or reach for her.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Sophie's voice was strained, desperate almost. There was a silent pause.

"It's our job to help you." Olivia said something for the first time since Sophie's revelation.

"I don't need your help." Sophie whispered. She meant it to be loud and assertive, but it came out as nothing more than a shallow sound over the rhythmic sounds of the hospital room they were still occupying. "I'll be okay."

"You were attacked today, Sophie…" Elliot started, searching for the words to use. "And the doctor saw the marks… We know someone's been hurting you. It's okay. You're safe now. Let us help you."

"Why?" Sophie started softly, but gained volume with each word she said. "Why? Why would you want to help me? I'm worthless. I'm part devil. It's my fault my mother is dead. You wanna know why? Because my mom died giving birth to me. That's why my real family gave me away. I reminded them of him… my mom's rapist. My father. I deserve every single thing I've got. And I deserved the r-r-rape too…" Her voice broke and she started sobbing hysterically.

Elliot and Olivia just stared at her. How could she think those things?

"Sweetheart, that's not true." Olivia said soothingly.

"Yes, it is! They told me that the only reason they're keeping me is because nobody else could ever want me…" Sophie continued.

"Who told you that?" Elliot asked, trying hard to keep his growing anger in check.

"Rob and Sadie…" Sophie answered him. Elliot remembered them. They were her current foster parents.

"Your foster parents." It was more of a statement than a question. Sophie nodded anyway, though. "Listen to me. This wasn't your fault. You didn't ask for it or deserve it." Sophie refused to meet his gaze. "And, kid… we're not going anywhere." He smiled slightly. So did Olivia. Sophie didn't seem to respond at all.

"Let's get you out of this hospital, okay?" Olivia gently touched her shoulder, and wasn't surprised when Sophie pulled away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, kiddo. Here, why don't you get ready, we'll be back in a second."

Olivia followed Elliot out of the room.

"How're you holding up, Liv?" Elliot asked, concern heavy in his voice.

"I'm more concerned about her," Olivia pointed to Sophie. "What kind of people tell a child those things? And she believes it! She would have dropped the charges in a heartbeat if we had let her…"

"I know… but right now, I'm more concerned about you." Elliot stared at her with intense steely blue eyes.

"I'm fine, really!" She started, but it was easy to tell she was lying. Elliot wrapped his arms around her. She fought him for a second, but them succumbed to his grasp.

"I'm here for you, partner." His words were gentle and caring.

"I know that Cragen set up an emergency foster home… but I don't know. I feel bad leaving her somewhere she doesn't know when she's been through so much."

"There's nothing else we can do." Elliot started. "Don't get me wrong, I agree with you. But, it's too late now…" He sighed. "In fact, we better get her over there."

The pair went back in the room. Sophie was sitting up on the bed now. Elliot extended his hand to her. She gently reached for it, and he helped her to a standing position. She looked up at him, searching his face for what was going to happen next.

"Ok, so… we're going to take you to an emergency foster home. You'll stay there until Social Services can review the child abuse allegations and place you in a new foster home."

Sophie dropped her head and slouched her shoulders slightly. She hated the temporary foster homes. There were so many people, and there was never enough food. But, she couldn't complain.

"Sophie, are you alright?" Olivia asked, noticing her change in demeanor.

"Yeah, fine." As if to supplement her lie, Sophie looked up at Olivia, who saw the truth in her eyes.

The car ride to the foster home was oddly silent. A few times, Sophie dosed off, but woke up with a slight whimper each time. When they got to the foster home, Olivia walked with her to meet her foster parents. When they were all acquainted, Olivia began to head towards the door.

"We'll pick you up in the morning, okay?"

"For what?" Sophie asked, surprised. She was sure this would be the last time they'd see each other.

"We need to get your statement." Olivia noticed the fear perking in her eyes. It looked like she wanted to tell Olivia something, but couldn't. "Here, take this." Sophie looked confused, yet took the small rectangular piece of paper anyway. "It's my card. There's my number, on the bottom. And my cell phone number's on the back. If you need me, night or day, you call me, okay?"

"…Really…?" Sophie's voice was small and uncertain.

"Of course." Olivia amended. "See ya tomorrow."

"Bye." Sophie managed to squeak out.

Olivia got to the car. She refused to talk to Elliot at all until she managed a slight "bye" when he dropped her off at her apartment.

That night, Olivia barely got any sleep. She kept thinking about her mom, and her dad. Her life was far from perfect, and she had blamed herself often for what had happened to her mom. But hearing someone else say it… how she was "the devil" and how she deserved to be attacked, it broke her heart.

In the morning, Elliot picked her up and they drove towards Sophie's foster home. The rain beat down on the New York City streets, causing dreary darkness.

Elliot walked up to the door and knocked impatiently. Within a few minutes, a middle aged woman, looking very irritated, opened the door.

"Whatever it is, we're not interested!" She said harshly. Before closing the door, Elliot slipped his hand inside.

"Police. I'm looking for Sophia Martin."

"Sophie! Get your butt over here now! The police!" She screamed. Elliot was surprised at how harsh she was being. Sophie appeared a few moments later. She was wearing the same clothes as the night before. Her hair was a mess. And she was wearing big, dark sunglasses. She approached Elliot with a relieved look on her face.

The two walked towards the car. When she was comfortably in the car, Olivia started conversation. "What's with the sunglasses?" They were cute, after all, but sort of not in season, it being so dark and all outside.

Sophie squirmed uncomfortably.

Olivia and Elliot shared a meaningful look.

When the three got into the precinct, they went straight to one of the more private rooms. When they were inside, Elliot asked, trying hard to be gently.

"Aren't you gonna take off your glasses?"

Sophie shook her head. Elliot sighed. Finally, she gently pulled the frames off, revealing two fresh black eyes and a cut running across her forehead.


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the next chapter. I'm hoping to develop Olivia and Sophie's relationship more and more over the next few chapters… Enjoy! And please review. I don't own Law & Order: SVU, nor am I making any money off of this!**

**Feedback Appreciated!**

Sophie heard Olivia gasp audibly before she hung her head low in defeat. She heard Elliot walk up behind her and immediately tensed every muscle in her body subconsciously.

"Let me see, sweetheart." Elliot's voice was gentle and calm, although he fought for both of these emotions. Sophie took in a shuddered breath. She was too embarrassed to even think about them seeing her latest injuries. That's why she came in with sunglasses… she hoped nobody would have to know.

When it became clear that she wasn't going to make eye contact with the detectives, Elliot gently lifted her chin to get a better look.

"It's nothing." Sophie said half-heartedly, her eyes focusing on anything else but the detective in front of her. "Really…" She didn't sound convincing.

Thinking that Sophie might open up better to a female, Elliot took the moment as an excellent one to leave. Besides, he'd have to get Cragen in there to see Sophie's injuries. "I'm going to get you some ice for that eye, okay?"

Sophie just nodded. _Great._ Elliot thought. _Back to square one with this kid… when she didn't trust us at all. And we were developing such a rapport, too._

Olivia moved closer to the teen, making sure she avoided any sudden movements or the like. When Olivia was seated next to Sophie, she extended her hand to cover Sophie's.

"You wanna talk about it?" Olivia asked.

Sophie practically jumped out of her chair, pulling her hand away from Olivia's. Her sprained ankle throbbed terribly, and tears threatened to fall at any minute. All her resolve to keep what had happened last night a secret suddenly fell apart at the physical contact with Olivia.

"I'm sorry!" she screamed. "He was there… he was… touching me…"

"Who?" Olivia stood up and walked over to the girl, staying a safe distance away. "Who was touching you, Sophie?"

"In my dreams… he was… in my _dreams…_" Sophie's voice caught, and she lost what little control she had. Sinking down onto the cold floor, she buried her head in her hands.

"The man who… raped you?" Olivia asked, even though it wasn't necessary.

Sophie nodded. "I screamed. I'm so… so…scared that he's going to find me…" Her voice sounded oddly childlike. "I didn't mean to wake anybody up… I swear!"

Olivia approached the girl and sat down next to her. "Who did you wake up?"

Sophie looked up and met Olivia's gaze. There was so much pain betrayed in her eyes that Olivia almost had to look away. Olivia was unsure of what to do. She tenderly reached out and placed her hand on Sophie's back for support. When Sophie didn't pull back, she embraced the girl in a hug. While Sophie didn't hug back at first, she began to cry softly, and started to talk, although the words were practically incomprehensible.

"I… I don't know his name…" Sophie started.

"Was it one of the foster parents?" Olivia asked. Elliot had mentioned how rough they had sounded.

Sophie shook her head.

"You don't have to protect them. Especially since they didn't protect you…"

"It was one of the other kids there." Sophie pulled away from Olivia. She stood up shakily and walked around to the other side of the room. Now that she'd created space between herself and Olivia, she continued. "I must have woken him up… He was just so mad. He told me if I screamed one more time…" Sophie let her voice trail. "I almost didn't go back to sleep, but I was too tired. When I had another nightmare, he…" Her voice grew quiet.

Olivia walked back over to her. "Sophie, this wasn't your fault." She said, reading her mind.

The girl didn't respond.

Outside the room, Elliot and Captain Cragen were watching helplessly. _Oh no_. Cragen thought. _Why did this have to happen to her? _Not that he wanted it to happen to anyone else. It was just… she'd been through so much, especially over the past couple of days.

Not missing a beat, Cragen continued. "Send Munch and Fin down to Sophie's emergency foster home to figure out what's going on and what bastard beat her up."

"Ok, Cap't." Elliot answered.

"And get back in there. See if you can get Sophie talking about the abuse… from her old foster parents." He sadly amended. "Or the attack yesterday in the park. See what she remembers."

Elliot nodded, took a deep breath and walked back into the room carrying a few ice packs.

Cragen filled in Munch and Fin and soon, they were on they're way to pay a little visit to Sophie's emergency foster home.

Munch extended his hand and knocked briskly on the door. Fin looked at him after a few moments of unanswered silence and gave him a look. He made his hand into a fist and began pounding on the door. "Open up, police!" Fin was not in the mood to play around.

After a few more seconds of silence, he heard a voice from inside. "I'm coming! I'm coming!" There was another silent pause, and then a woman with her hair pulled in a messy bun opened the door. "What do ya want?"

"I'm Detective Tutuola and this is my partner, Detective Munch." Fin extended his hand, but the woman just looked at him with disdain.

"We're here about Sophia Martin." Munch continued. He heard the woman scoff.

"Last night…" Fin tried to start, but the woman cut him off.

"What did that little…" She paused to compose herself. "What is this about, anyway?"

"When our detectives picked up Sophia this morning she had some cuts and bruises now and we have to do some investigating." Munch answered.

"Who has access to her room?" Fin continued with the questioning.

"Room?" The woman laughed. Fin was getting quite upset. This wasn't a funny matter. How did this woman ever become a foster parent, anyway?

"Detective, we have at any given point between 8 and 16 kids here… Sophie just got here. And seniority rules. She slept on the couch." All of a sudden, Fin and Munch felt extremely guilty. It hadn't clicked until just now that _their_ squad had placed Sophie in a place where she was beaten for having _normal_ nightmares of her terrible attack.

"We're going to need to talk to the kids." Fin informed her.

"Which ones? All of them?"

"Well, all of the males." Munch started. "For now."

She nodded and turned around, belting out, "Eddie! Sammy! Ryan! Trevor! Jordan! Come here, now!" She paused. "And Scott! Scott, I need to talk to you!"

Within the next five minutes, 6 guys had presented themselves to their foster mother. Some were eliminated right away. Sammy and Ryan were 5-year-old twins. Somehow, the detectives didn't think that either of them had beaten up Sophie. Trevor was in a wheelchair, and Scott had Down's Syndrome. Munch and Fin decided that it probably wasn't either of them. That just left Eddie and Jordan.

Eddie looked to be between 15 and 17 years old. He was tall, big, and had long blond hair. He kept his head down, but still towered over his foster mother.

Jordan looked a little younger. Maybe 13 or 14. He had spiked brown hair and a slight frame. Still, he could have hit Sophie and caused her injuries.

Fin approached Eddie. "Hey, can we talk?"

"Who the heck are you?" He answered sharply.

"Detective Tutuola. You can call me Fin."

Eddie rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Do you remember Sophie Martin? She got here last night."

"Oh, yeah. Hot piece of $$…" Eddie looked back at him. "What a little whore… she was such a tease."

"How do you mean?"

"She led me on. She was playing hard to get. I finally decided to forget about it…but that little btch kept having those nightmares… Waked the whole darn house up!"

"Had to teach her a lesson, man?"

"I never laid a hand on her." Eddie finally realized where this conversation was going and that he had said too much. He had been in trouble with the law before.

Fin noticed, for the first time, Eddie's wife beater. He hadn't thought much about it before, but now he saw the faded reddish looking stains on it. Blood. Sophie's blood. He gestured to Munch, who quickly noticed the same thing.

"Eddie, we're going to have to take you down to the station for questioning."

Hearing this, Eddie pushed past Munch and ran towards the door. Fin was faster than him, and he toppled Eddie and cuffed him.

"I didn't want to do this, but it looks like you want to get things done the hard way." Fin retorted.

Back at SVU, Elliot and Olivia were trying to make headway with Sophie's case, but she had completely shut down.

"So, can you tell me what happened yesterday?" Elliot asked.

Sophie stayed silent. She didn't look up, or react to what Elliot was saying.

"Sophie, honey…" Olivia started. When she reached out to touch Sophie's shoulder, she didn't flinch. At least, not very much. "Please, try." Sophie looked up at her, but remained silent.

It seemed that she was trying to muster up some courage, and finally said, although very quietly, "Can I… can I use the restroom?"

"Of course." Olivia answered. "Here, it's right this way. Olivia placed her hand on the girl's shoulder and led her towards the restroom.

As soon as they were out of the room, Sophie took off running. She didn't even know where she was going exactly, she just knew she couldn't stay there anymore. She was sick of talking. And she was sick of the police. They couldn't help her. They _wouldn't_ help her. She wanted to scream.

Sophie wasn't very fast. She hadn't eaten anything all day. But nobody was expecting her to just take off. Olivia caught up with her quickly. She had barely made it out of Special Victims Unit when Sophie collapsed.

Olivia rushed over to her. Sophie was conscious, but barely. "It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay." She soothed her hair as she pulled out her cell and called for a bus.

Elliot, hearing all the commotion, came out of the room. He rushed over to Olivia.

"What happened?"

"She just started running as soon as we left. Then she just… fainted."

"Oh, my God…"

At the hospital, Sophie was promptly admitted.

"She's severely dehydrated." The doctor said sadly. He knew about what had happened to her just the day before. "We're gonna keep her here overnight, get an IV in her, and take care of some of her stitches that seem to have ripped. She should be able to go home in a few days."

Home? Now where was that? In the foster home where she was abused for years? Or the new one where her foster siblings hit her for having nightmares? Olivia would not let them take her back there.

"Thank you, doctor." Olivia said quietly. She walked into Sophie's room. She looked so small and helpless. "Hey, you." Olivia said gently.

"Hi." She replied meekly.

"How're you feeling?" Olivia asked. Sophie shrugged. After a moment of silence, Olivia continued. "Why did you try to run away when we were at the precinct?"

Sophie drew in a sharp breath and looked at Olivia. "Please don't make me go back." She begged. Her voice was small and poignant. "I'm better off on my own. I'll drop the charges… You won't have to worry about me… and then… then I can…"

"You're not going back to that foster home, Sophie, don't worry…" Olivia patted her hand gently. "You're never going back there. But, you're not going to live on your own, either."

"So, what then? You'll find me another 'loving home?'" Sophie replied, sarcasm dripping from her voice all of a sudden. "I'd rather be on my own." Sophie snorted, then her voice softened. "Maybe I'm just not meant to have a family…" The reminiscent tone of her voice affected Olivia. Deeply.

"That's not true." Her heart broke for this kid.

"Yes, it is. Nobody could possibly care about me." Sophie sounded so dejected.

"That's not true either…"

"And how should you know?"

"A lot of people care about you…" Olivia started.

"Yeah?" Defiance glimmered in Sophie's eyes. "Name one."

Without missing a beat, Olivia proceeded. "**_Me_**."

Please review…… 


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the (long awaited) next chapter of the story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I'm not making any money off of this…**

**Please read and review!**

Sophie met Olivia's gaze. She was silent for a long moment, before adding, "You only care about me because you have to. It's your job."

"Sophie…" Olivia placed her hands on top of the girl's. "That's not true. I care about you. Nobody is going to hurt you anymore."

"Shut up! Shut up!" Sophie yelled. "You only put me in that house because you… you knew. About what happened to my mom. You knew what was going to happen." Sophie looked so betrayed. "Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not, kid." Olivia's voice was gentle, but demanded attention. "Sophie, look at me." She reluctantly did. "I am not lying to you. Not now. Not ever. What happened last night was terrible. But we had nothing to do with it. And I'm _not_ lying, sweetheart. We can protect you."

"Yeah, right." Sophie turned away. She was torn between wanting to believe her and knowing that it could never actually be true. "Leave me alone."

"Sophie…"

"Please." Now her voice was pleading.

"Okay, honey. I'll be back later on, okay?" When Olivia didn't get an answer, she continued. "I brought you some things I thought you'd like to keep you occupied… a few books. Is there anything you need? Maybe some real food and not this hospital junk?" Olivia laid a canvas bag down with some novels inside.

"You don't have to do anything special for me…" Sophie had completely turned away from the detective, but eyed the canvas tote. "Bye."

"Bye." Olivia left, completely dejected, yet also saddled with a new resolve. She knew what she was going to do. She rushed back to the precinct to talk to Captain Cragen.

"Capt?" She knocked on his door as soon as she got back to the SVU Squad room.

"Come in. Door's open."

Olivia walked in cautiously and took a seat in front of the man she grew to respect so much. "I need to talk to you about Sophie Martin."

Cragen set down the file he was reading and looked up at her. "How is she doing? Did something happen?"

"Well, sort of." She started. "The doctors said she was dehydrated and are keeping her for observations overnight." She took a deep breath. "She doesn't trust us anymore. She's thinking of dropping the rape charges and the assault charges. She's terrified."

Donald took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What can we do? She's 17, she can legally drop the rape charges."

"I want to become her foster parent."

"WHAT?"

"I want to become her…"

"I heard you the first time!" This news came as quite a surprise to Captain Cragen. "You really think that's a good idea?"

"Yeah. I thought about it. Cap't… this kid… you should have seen her. She blames herself for everything. She thinks she deserves to be raped and beaten and whatever the hell else anyone does to her. And she's not talking… especially after what happened last night. You want to know what she told me today? Do you?"

Cragen nodded, wordlessly.

"She thinks that the reason we put her in that foster home last night was because we wanted her to be beaten. _That's_ how much she trusts the police. She thinks we would do that to punish her." Olivia's voice cracked.

"I know you have a connection with this kid…"

"Captain, I _am_ this kid…" Olivia sighed.

"So, how long have you blamed yourself for your mom's drinking problems?"

Olivia didn't say anything. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You know, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault what happened to your mom. Just like it's not Sophie's fault." Cragen sounded like a father.

"I know… at least, that's what people tell me. No one ever told Sophie that." Olivia looked like she verged on tears. "Instead, they beat her and raped her and threw her out on the streets. They told her she was the devil and that no one would ever want her. You know, she thinks no one could care about her. She thinks she's unlovable."

"I think you two need each other." Cragen nodded his blessings. "And maybe if she feels safe, she'll talk."

"I'm going to tell Sophie. Will you help me get the paperwork?"

"I'm on it now." Cragen smiled up at Olivia as she made her way back to the hospital…again.

When she got into the room, she noticed Sophie was paging through _Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim_ by David Sedaris, one of the books Olivia left in the bag before talking to Cragen. Sophie looked up with a start when she heard the detective enter the room and fumbled trying to throw the book back into the bag.

"It's okay… they're for you." Sophie blushed as Olivia spoke, knowing that the detective saw her nervousness.

"Thanks…" She started. "And I'm sorry about earlier…"

"It's okay. But we need to talk about something."

Sophie looked up. "Tomorrow morning you're going to be released." Sophie looked down at her hands. "I wanted to know if you'd like to come stay with me."

Sophie looked up inquisitively. "Huh?"

"I want to know what you'd think of my being your foster mom."

"Really?" Sophie let on a hint of a smile.

"Yeah."

"I…I couldn't. Besides, I'm 17. Don't you want someone younger?" Sophie's smile began to fade. "I'm an abomination… an embarrassment… you wouldn't want me."

"But I do, sweetie." Olivia started. "You're not an abomination. You're not an embarrassment. You're Sophie. And I'm Olivia. And I want you to come live with me. You'll be safe, kiddo, I promise."

A few tears slid down Sophie's cheek as she nodded. Olivia pulled her close in her arms. Sophie's muscles were tense and she flinched, but she let Olivia hug her. Maybe this arrangement would work out… Maybe it would be the best thing either one had ever experienced… Maybe it would be a disaster…

TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it's been so long! Please read & review!**

**Disclaimer: As always, I do not own Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I also don't own Dick Van Dyke, Barry Van Dyke, Diagnosis Murder, or Full House (obviously) But I do mention them! So… please don't sue!**

**Thanks!**

Olivia released the tired girl from her embrace. Sophie sank back underneath the covers.

"Thanks." Sophie finally said, her voice shaking. "You… you don't have to…"

"I want to." Olivia interrupted. "It's going to be okay. I promise." Olivia reassured, smiling.

For the first time, Sophie noticed the duffel bag that Olivia had carelessly thrown by the door. "What's that?" She asked.

"I'm staying the night." Olivia started. Sophie dropped her gaze. "If that's okay with you."

"Yeah… But, where will you sleep?" Sophie asked quietly. Olivia pointed to a chair next to the hospital bed. "No… you don't have to, really."

"I want to." Olivia's voice commanded attention. Sophie looked up at her. There was that spark again, the connection between the two. Sophie nodded in resignation. "Let's see what's on TV, shall we?"

Sophie pointed the controller at the small television set. She clicked a few buttons and stopped at the first thing that wasn't a commercial. She recognized an elderly man as Dick Van Dyke and his son, Barry Van Dyke. It was the crime drama _Diagnosis Murder_.

She quickly flipped to another channel.

"Not a fan of crime dramas?" Olivia asked, suddenly realizing she didn't really know anything about the girl.

"Eh… they're okay. I just want to see what else is on."

"I don't like them much. Too over-rated. Real life is dramatic enough." Olivia wasn't really thinking when the words came out of her mouth, and she paused, wondering how exactly Sophie would react.

Sophie just glanced up at her, smiling knowingly. She clicked the button a few more times and finally settled on an old episode of _Full House_.

"I love sitcoms." Sophie initiated this time, sensing Olivia's need to know more about her.

"Me too."

By the end of the episode, Sophie had drifted into a peaceful sleep, aided by some tranquilizing medication. Olivia had finally gotten comfortable, or as comfortable as possible, in the chair when she heard rustling. She glanced over to where Sophie was lying.

Sophie awoke with a start. She opened her eyes, blinking repeatedly. The room was dim, but she could see the machinery. For a scary moment, she wasn't sure where she was. As the memories flooded back, she rested her head on the pillow. She didn't bother fighting back the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

Olivia moved the chair closer to Sophie. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She lied.

"Bad dream?"

"I can… see him. Every time I close my eyes." A few more tears escaped her eyes. She bit her lip hard before continuing. "I just want… to forget. I want the memories gone."

"Oh, Sophie." Olivia brushed her hand along the girl's cheek. "It's going to be okay. You wanna talk about it?"

Sophie reached out and held Olivia's other hand. "I'm scared." Her voice was so little.

"You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Sophie wanted to believe her. She really did. But the problem was… she didn't. "I shouldn't have been in the park." She ventured.

Olivia nodded. She was found in the park. She was _raped_ in the park. Maybe Sophie really was going to finally trust Olivia. "Why were you in the park?"

"Rob… he was drunk. And really pissed. He started smacking me. Then he told me to go to my room."

Olivia waited for Sophie to continue. Then she decided to see if Sophie would open up a little bit more. "Did you sneak out?"

"He had a bat!" She almost screamed. "Sadie was trying to calm him down… I could hear her telling him that he should just 'use the belt' or 'put on his rings'… I couldn't stay there." Her voice dropped to barely audible. "I went to the park. I was going to sleep there. Wait it out, ya know?"

Olivia nodded. "How often did you sleep at the park?"

She glanced up at her. "A few days a week."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"Why?" Sophie asked. "It's not your fault."

"It's not yours either!" Olivia's voice rose. "It's not."

"Come on. You can pretend all you want, but at the end of the day… I can't change who… what… I am."

Olivia couldn't stand hearing Sophie talk about herself like that. "Sophie. What happened to your mom was terrible… but it wasn't your fault."

"Yeah? How would you know? You have no idea what it feels like…"

Olivia took Sophie's hand in both of hers. "Yes, Sophie, I do."

"Yeah, right. How would you?"

"Because I'm a child of rape, too."

TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it's been so long since I've updated this story! I promise to do better in the future. I know I always say that… but this time, I mean it!**

**Disclaimer: as always, I am not making any money off of this… I don't own Law and Order: SVU or the characters, etc**

**Please read and review!**

The look on Sophie's face was indescribable at that moment.

"What?" She exclaimed.

"My mom was in college… when she was attacked." Olivia took Sophie's hands in hers. "It's not something that many people know, sweetheart, but it's wasn't my fault. And it's not your fault about what happened to your mom."

"That can't be… You can't be… You're so…"

"So, what?"

"So… nice … so pretty. I mean, you're a _cop._"

"What difference does that make?" Olivia asked. Sophie shrugged. "It doesn't. Just because of _our _past… that doesn't mean that you… or me… or anyone… deserves to be hurt."

It was clear that Sophie didn't believe her. She was so conditioned to accept the abuse. "You know what makes this whole thing worse?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Olivia shook her head, urging her to continue. She was practically glowing. Sophie was opening up to her. They had always had a connection, and now their bond was finally growing.

"I feel terrible about what happened to my mother, of course. I mean… I always have. But now… I can really sympathize. Being hit sucks, but it's not the same as being…" She choked on the word _raped._ Olivia just nodded her support, not wanting to interrupt the girl. "being… you know, raped. And I wish her family could have kept me. But… I feel so guilty, and I can't help but think… If she wasn't raped, then I wouldn't be here. If _he_ didn't force himself onto her, I wouldn't even **exist **and then I think that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing… but of course it was… sick, isn't it?" She took a deep breath. "If that doesn't make me a terrible person, I'm not sure what does. I almost didn't take the birth control after the… attack… because, even though he wore a condom, I could still be _pregnant_… but I did take it… because I'm scared and I can't support a baby. I'm such a hypocrite." She started crying softly.

"Shhh, Sophie." Olivia soothed the girl as she wrapped her arms around her. "It's going to be okay. You're not a bad person. Those are normal thoughts, honey. And I understand them, sweetie. I promise. You are not a hypocrite."

"I can't believe I told you that." Sophie sighed. "You're never gonna want me now."

"Sophie." Olivia said firmly. "Being your foster mom is not conditional. I'm not going to throw the towel in. We're in this together, kid."

"Really?"

"Of course."

Sophie yawned.

"Tired?" Olivia asked.

She nodded, sinking farther under the covers.

"Why don't you get some more rest." It was practically the middle of the night, after all.

"Okay." She yawned again. "Goodnight, Olivia. Thanks."

"No problem. Goodnight."

Sophie didn't wake up any more times that night. Her sleep was restful, and she was comforted by Olivia's words. She was still so shocked that Olivia was a child of rape too. She had never met anyone who was like her in _that way_. And she wanted to be her foster mother! Maybe this really would work out. Anything had to be better than living with Sadie and Robert or even that temporary foster home. She said she could live by herself, but she was bluffing. She tried once when she ran away a few years back, but that ended with her going back to George and Sarah's because some pimp kept harassing her and trying to get her to be his prostitute. She'd rather be sexually abused at home then on the streets, thank you very much.

The New York City sunlight flooded into the tiny hospital room, waking Sophie from a rather vivid dream.

"Good morning, sunshine." Olivia greeted.

"Hey." She replied. "Thanks for… last night, staying and talking and stuff." She smiled.

"Not a problem." Olivia replied. "It was my pleasure."

"When can I get out of here?" She shifted uncomfortably in her hospital gown. "White's really not my color…" She rolled her eyes a little, pointing to her starched white hospital gown. "I'm more of a bright, spring time person to tell the truth."

"Hopefully today. The doctor needs to check you out. Make sure everything's okay, then you'll be good to go."

As if on cue, the doctor knocked on the wooden door before walking into the room.

"How're we doing today, Miss Martin?"

"Fine." Sophie was all of a sudden very quiet. Olivia was amazed by the instant transformation from bubbly teen to very quiet, shy girl.

The doctor checked the IV before removing it. He then undressed the wrappings on Sophie's abdomen where some stitches were ripped. They were healing well.

"Well, Sophia, it looks like you're all set to go." Sophie smiled.

"Thanks, doctor."

"I'll get the paperwork." He directed the last comment to Olivia.

As soon as the doctor left, Olivia helped Sophie to her feet.

"I didn't know what size you wore, so I brought you some pajama pants and a hooded sweatshirt. They're mine, so they should fit pretty well. They'll probably be a bit too big. We can go shopping later. Your old clothes were a little torn up…"

"Yeah they were. Thanks so much." Sophie replied. She pulled on the hoodie and the pants. She tied the drawstring into a tight knot. The hoodie almost swallowed her whole, or at least that's what it looked like.

Olivia quickly filled out the paperwork and the pair made their way towards Olivia's apartment. When Sophie first laid eyes on it, she audibly gasped.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked, fearing the worst.

"Nothing… it's just… really nice." And it was. Most of the places Sophie stayed were really downtrodden. The furniture didn't match. There were rats. There were screaming babies. Or they were located in crime ridden areas. But not this place. It was the equivalent of Sophie's dream castle. The place she dreamed of living when she grew up. The place she dreamed of living when she pretended to have the perfect family.

Then she smiled.

And it was one of the few genuine smiles Olivia saw from Sophie.

**Please review!**


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